LIfe as I know it

i can't tell monday from wednesday anymore..
many things consume my life, in all honesty I barely have time for myself but I insist on making time for others, its one of the things I honestly can not stand about myself at times. I'm a ppl pleaser and I think of other's happiness before I tend to think of my own. I'm a work in progress to say the least and my pursuit of happiness is short lived and often goes right back to the beginning. I'm in a place where I often feel trapped and I can't wait to get out of this beautiful let  down. To be honest I miss my social life!!!! I have one good friend here at home and I love her dearly, I'm not really on common ground with anyone else, yes I hang out with others but it's just not the right fit and suga I refuse to smile in your face like we're still friends and says congrats to something I don't believe in or support. but enough venting on to my rendezvous of a weekend.. I needed to escape!! so I made this hour and a half drive for a "photography assignment" oh how I love to lie to myself, knowing damn well I just wanted to see him. yes! I was in good company had some good laughs and major talks with some ppl I love but he was definitely the main thing on my mind. let's just say the jazzabelle in me was a very happy woman, but then it hits me.. why can't he give me more. I deserve more, hell I'm worth more, I'm right in his face, I'm laying next to him and he says those three words that honestly mean nothing without action. but oh how I enjoyed every moment with him , no regrets, I just think too much because this time I felt closer to him and I didn't mind being in his arms...fuck!!!

Cupid Got Me Good

p.s. betty took some awesome shots.. will post later


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