awkwardly poised

DAY 109
I haven't truly been shopping all summer thanks to the fuckers I work for at CB where my checks are almost depleted after putting gas in my car. And I love thrifting as much as the next girl but there's nothing like that new clothes feel and knowing that its yours. That feeling of walking out the store with that bag in your hand thinking of all the combinations and the first place you can wear that gorgeous ensemble!! Ahh!! how i miss that feeling, so due to my lack of income and not getting paid from my new job until thursday.. I constantly come up with different combos with what I have in my closet, occasional thrifting, and going through my moms old things. So this shoot was inspired by the thought of hidden treasures.. 

I'm in love with abandoned places and their mystique.. sometimes places with no one to look at my flaws make me the most comfortable.. looking at these pictures made me confront what I like to call my oddly gorgeous silhouette, with my long legs and short torso being the jist. I've come to love what I use to hate... besides he said he'd lick them.. mmm hmm


one Hopeless Saturday

sometimes we do things for no reason just because they feel right. we have no destination or deadline, just a day where shorts and a t-shirt makes your beauty stand out. after all simplicity is elegance. 

On a day like this I...
1. didn't wear a bra
2. drove aimlessly to sort out my thoughts

3. rummaged endlessly through  a book store
4. wore a ring.. i hadn't in a while

5. got stuck at the longest light
6. took one of those corny car pics
7. forgot to put on deodorant

8. came to the conclusion that i am officially addicted to frappes and have not had a frappuccino in months
9. and that i am..

everyone needs a day when doing nothing...becomes your little bit of happiness

Day 108


random epiphany

fashion is like sex.. it's either good or bad depending on who it's with. Like that outfit may not work for you but it looks great on her. Sex with him may not have been so great but that other guy knocked it out the park.  it's also similar to how my life has been lately and this rant may also be coming from my sexual frustrations as well. But things are either really good or continuously bad. thursday was the day of all days.. I spent almost three hours at the community college trying to get registered for classes only to be defeated in my effort. not to mention i had been up at the horrendous place everyday this week!! i was determined, i went to that stupid appeal on tuesday, turned in all my forms on monday just so i would be ahead of the game. Harrased my previous college about sending my transcript only to find out that my high school transcript had not been received. I dropped f bombs like no other that day. so thursday i'm back at it with my high school transcript in hand.. my hold is cleared I go to register and i can only take six hours. by this time i am flustered beyond words.. i try to talk to everyone but the one guy i need isn't in. I stormed out of that office with tears in my eyes, six hours is a waste of my time and money, I understand i didn't do well at my old university but i'm trying to better myself by going back and i just sat and thought ...this is my punishment. URGH!!!

Not to mention I looked awful i had just got off work and looked really bummy in my khakis and tank top i had stripped down to. Looking awful on a bad day is almost just as bad as not having an orgasm!

in need of days like these

p.s. i need a cool graphic tee.. any suggestions on where to look


happily confused

It's one of those nights... where I just wanna cry with a bottle of wine in hand and soothing music to drown out my tears. Its just iffy right now and I don't like it. But I'm too afraid of failure to give up.. a simple I'm proud would've made me smile.. not to mention there's this guy.. I'm not afraid to love just the outcome. I wish I was Aphrodite... getting the guy was never hard for her. 

DAY 95


a little on edge

 I love the smell of peach cigars. Not because they remind me of anything...but maybe a particular someone. Sitting on the swaying dock I kept thinking should I or shouldn't I. If I light it, will the cigar smell the same or will the tobacco over power the peachyness that entices me so. I came here to think and casually slipped the cigar in my pocket on the way out the door. My secret place, where if I smoke no one will see, if I cry no one will hear, and if I dance no one will stare. Oddly I went to my secret place in the middle of the day, nature soothes me and the touch of wind mixed with sunshine made me smile. I secretly hoped a cute guy on a boat would sail by.. I got the old man on a kayak who pointed out I didn't smile as he heard the camera flash

DAY 93


all work and no play

DAY 92
It's 6:05 am I pull up and see the other cars. I'm nervous to get out, she hasn't called me yet, I'm 5 minutes early but that's a good thing, it's better to be early than late. I see her.. the other girl who there with me that one day. I think hmm.. the bitch has been here longer she's already doing everything on her own.. and its just my first day. I look at the time because she still hasn't pulled up and my cell hasn't rang. I'm nervous and excited because, I'm doing what I love, but at times I can be socially retarded so I stay in my car and wait. I'm anxious, i dial her and she says five minutes.. I keep looking at my car lights against the building.. the sun has barely come up and all I can keep thinking about is why didn't I eat breakfast and my second shift that awaits me later in the day .  She's here.. we meet and greet and talk our boss. I am now her shadow.. gotta love the first day on the job.

Fashion in the Workforce

  W Magazine      

Louis Vuitton


Louis Vuitton



DAY 91
Am I the only one who's afraid of outrageous colors on the kissables... I think its gorgeous on others but I'm not quite sure how I feel about it on myself. For one my lips are on the  voluptuous side and I honestly just started wearing red lipstick this year and I ooo so badly want to try a suttle pink without looking like a clown of some sort.  I want it to look romantic and slightly seductive... and not DAMN her lips are pink. I often relate to old Hollywood to describe myself. I love to be thought of as gorgeous yet mysteriously seductive. I think I was meant for a different time period. One of nice long dresses, gentlemen in fedoras and lovely nights out on the town.


these looks inspire me so

p.s. is suttle really spelled subtle.. my computer kept putting that red line.. I really like the way suttle looks and its how  pronounce it.. hmph

all pictures are form google images

tootles my darlings
the jazzabelle


a heap of clutter.. DAY 90

Outkast in a Dress

There are days I wanna be just like her, work off a schedule, make my socks match my shirt, be as thorough and neat. I remember my outfits as a child were always coordinated to a T, I had the penny loafers to match my uniform, the baby doll socks for every sunday with my shiny patten leather shoes. I often think of myself as a doll, sitting in her lap she twisted my hair, admiring her beauty. She always had hair that came down her back, I always cut mine off, the shorter the messier. Mess revolves around my life, my floor often become my closet for a few days and I oddly come up with some of my best ideas in catastrophe. I keep things in my mind when I should often write them on paper. I have problems sticking with things, like shoots, I always think what if someone sees me, in particularly her, sometimes this small town gets to me.. a tripod wouldn't look weird any where else, but here I'm like an outkast with a camera. A mess in a dress....

You know when u go in department stores and u see those huge posters of girls with things all around them like shoes, or makeup, but they're still they're focus! That type of shoot has been in the back of my mind forever, except I did it with clutter. I also wish I had a way of getting the camera at higher angle.. I thought about tying it to something, but my clumsiness always prevails over my natural ability to rig things..

We all have our Inhibitions


Under Construction

My blog is undergoing changes due to my unsatisfaction and I also stumbled upon a blog with the same name.   I came up with smeared makeup one day after crying and seeing my make-up smudged and heartbreak written all over my face. The blog was originally suppose to be a place for me to start writing again and spill my emotional state onto the web. But after a few months i decided to make it a fashion blog where I could display my passion for the things I love. I am also undergoing changes as well, I recently cut my hair very short, whenever i cut my hair its like cutting off all my baggage, I'm leaving it in the past as my hair falls on the floor. My life is under construction, I am learning patience and just taking every thing day by day! 

Jazabelle or jezebel has a very negative connotation which is why i think i love it. its usually used by old people to describe a woman of promiscuous nature and very popular with men. It even dates back to jim crow to describing a woman with an insatiable appetite for sex.  They were known to be seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Well I have an insatiable appetite for fashion and I want my blog to turn heads like a man watching a woman as she walks by.. his eyes following the sway of her hips.. she has his full attention. 

So welcome to 
my darlings