study my contradictions

About a week ago, I was out with a friend and she asked( i always start writing then go to other tabs i have up) why haven't I done any fashion posts lately, so I pondered and honestly its because I haven't been feeling quite fashiony lately. The guy said I seemed different, spicy is the exact term that he used, I'm just not taking as much shit as I use to. These past two months have been hard and I guess I found my backbone through them. Even though I cry about something every other week, yea my emotions are in shambles but I'm okay. I'm smiling and I say fuck and shit way more than I should but thats better than giving up and letting my world end. So this is for my darling friend.. and besides without fashion the jazzabelle would just be a whore.

Urban outfitters Spring 2011 catalog shot by Harmony Korine

Nylon Mag

I love color, i love cuffs.. my wrists are always too small but these are just gorgeous 

R&Y Augousti

My 145 dollar dream, spring is all about color but glitter is on my mind.. I also want a pink pair 

One of my favorite blogs is Fashiontography, a little inspiration goes a long way, least I'm hopin so.

I am obsessed with Tommy Ton.. I love him, his street photography is to die for!!! Sadly I could not get any of the photos off style. com but here's the link hope you enjoy as much as I did!! 

http://www.style.com/trendsshopping/stylenotes/020911_Tommy_Ton_F2011RTW/

p.s.

I want to change the name of my blog... no fashion involved in the title.. I hardly ever post about trends and when I do an outfit post I never put where the clothes are from, mostly because I figure you all will get tired of seeing forever 21, charlotte russe, thrift store, and uhhh I don't remember. I go to all these sites and never buy, yea I'm cheap, but to better my fashion I will have to spend more, not a whole lot more, just more.  This blog is a growing process with me, when I'm right it will be right.

xoxo,

the chick trying to get it right

story of my life

morning go!!!

Condoms, tattooed women,classic beauty..every morning should be this grand

http://www.refinery29.com/you-cant-buy-these-chanel-condoms-at-the-soho-store.php

http://theartofugly.tumblr.com/

http://www.fashioneditorials.com/the-black-allure-ajak-deng-chanel-iman-jourdan-dunn-and-more-vogue-italia-february-2011-emma-summerton/02/2011

   "You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit"- David Ryan 

Click the links you'll enjoy..I think links make the blog look ugly. I'm just to lazy to click the link button, so I copy and paste. The art of ugly has become a fav of mine, I follow girls that I think are gorgeous on twitter well usually my interest has been peaked. I adore beautiful, eccentric, fashionable, idgaf chicks, I'd go lesbo if I had the balls. I use to google quotes for fb statuses to describe how I felt, when I didn't have the words.

I want somebody to walk up behind me and kiss me on my neck 

yea yea yea i know

shopping, and sex, shopping and sex, shopping and sex, i am unbelievably broke and my skin is crawling from not being able to buy anything.. i admit it i'm a fucking addict for clothes.. i just want some peanut butter and jelly earrings and hotel to room to fufill my fantasies, i woke up feeling like shit, went back to work monday, i'm off today, no job should lay off for two months.. i wanna be in school right now for the wrong reasons..my thoughts are jumbled hope u can tell, i gave up on correct grammar first sentence, i need a hustle i'm bout to pimp my photography skills, 16 days so many hours and secs till i get paid.. life of a struggling shopaholic, least i got a roof over my head, i dnt believe money makes you happy but i think we can agree it makes things better. 

xoxo,

the girl lookin for better days

p.s. i wrote this on wednesday

lists and boots

oh and yes I was still snowed in today.. but I did go outside.. I almost froze.. I shoulda worn gloves.. welp

I made a list,  I have goals, I need it to be MONDAY

stream of conscious

laying in bed watching invader zim.. my hair is on top of my head, i wanna go outside, fuck this snow, can't get off my street, everyones home, i need to do work, prefer to create alone or in the company of others creatives, still looking for my mojo, interesting convo this morning, hope i didn't upset you, sometimes i feel like we're playing tug of war... I dont think i'll win, i love you, i like the way things are, but there are days i wonder would it be okay if i reached for your hand in public... i inspire fb statuses, i long for freedom and a sparkly pair of heels.... 12 more mother fuckin days 

p.s.

 i'd love for ur face to end up in the mud,  for once i'd get my way..

as of late

My friend from high school got married yesterday.. he asked how does that make me feel. My response: I'm not ready for that life, I was happy for her..its what she wants but I feel as though getting married and having children seems to be the next big thing to do in this town.  I just want a nice date every now and then.. nothing to fancy, no facebook love, actually all I want is pretty much what I have right now. Well with a few more hugs and kisses, and a tad more clarity, I get insecure and wonder am I putting to much effort into him, I don't wanna lose myself, good thing is he constantly reminds me I'm important... honestly I just want stability not just in my love life but in everyday life.. I feel like I'm almost there.

I like bows in my hair, crotch shots, comfy clothes, and simple things

 I hate when my boobs feel enormous

things on my mind

one of my darlings wants to be a porcupine

cute and still poke ppl

this song

i can't stop looking at these!

i really want them.. dying without them

his tumblr

do another post fucker

please!!!

http://cartoonsxboobs.tumblr.com/

culture

i want to know where i come from

i had streaks of blonde hair as a child

saw this on http://lipstickonthebrain.tumblr.com/

i love her posts

love and sex

oooo, and this!!!!

the jacket not her

♥

quick question

will u be my lover?

yes/no

i wish there was a virtual pen

xxxo

Jequise

live it, fuck it, love it

Itunes on Shuffle

The past few weeks I have purposely alienated myself (shut ppl out, whatever the fuck u wanna call it, I did it!!) from everybody.  It's how I deal, it's how I think when times are hard, I take time to myself to pray, think, and eat. I need those moments, I had to say FUCK everyone else and HELLO Jequise what do u want?  During this process I cried, became sick, indulged in art( i paint now) and music, lost inspiration, gained it back, it was the longest I went without taking a single photo, I even cried to my mom.. who still doesn't quite get it and asked did I need to see a shrink but aye progress comes with time.  I came to the conclusion: 

I'm A Happy Mess

1. I want to move out but I'll be broke if I do

2. I want/need a better relationship with my mom

3. School hates me and I hate it

4. I wanna work and save more so when I do move out I'll have furniture

5. Clothes and Photography make me the happiest

6. I'm gonna have to disappoint to get to the place I wanna be

7. My happiness is important

8. I'm giving myself 2 years to get the hell out of Tennessee

9. I'm going to Fashion Week

10. I'm in love with an amazing Man

11. Everything happens for a reason, I'm trusting God

12. I'm gonna love and keep loving

13. Speak my mind more.. (shoulda gave someone the big fuck off today)

14. I've fucked up, learned from it, I'm gonna listen to my life now

15. I'll never stop dreaming BIG

now playing: melt my heart to stone- adele

now playing: fuck you- cee lo

now playing: viva la white girl- gym class heroes

now playing: fly niggas do fly thing- wiz khalifa & curren$y

now playing: so appalled- kanye west

now playing: avril 14th- aphex twin

now playing: sometimes- erykah badu

now playing: sweet love- anita baker

16. I miss Bella

It's something about his name, I've always loved that name, Fancy I'd fall in love with him

♥

hey guy

I dream of a home in paris, long visits from my lover, a small child crawling, and a ring on my right hand..

My lover with an old pair of dirty chucks and a nappy fro

Me begging him to cut it off, but i honestly love the way it feels

and a balcony... i really want a balcony

Fuck the white picket fence!

i'm just a wonderin

W Magazine

Refinery 29

whenever i really don't know what to call something i label it as love notes,because like my mind love makes no sense at all 

be still my beating heart

there are days when i go on a fashion site and mag binge. i dive in for inspiration to let me know all i'm working for is not lost. i just bought kelly cutrone's book and love magazine the other day... i spent 49 dollars on two things.. i also wanted the lady gaga book but resisted.. sadly i plan to go get it this week or maybe next. but that wasn't enough this morning i woke up and began going to every fashion site i could think of.. i try to follow the trends and keep myself informed but honestly i lose track of time and i don't remind myself to check a trend report every day. i just love style, and the freedom of fashion, sometimes i don't do well with order, i'm realizing that in many of my relationships with life.

aneta bartos

W Magazine

yana toyber

W Magazine

martynka wawrzyniak

W Magazine

elle muliarchyk

W Magazine

I find these photos fascinating and beautiful... i love different depictions of women and not the standard glam shots. Its raw and uncandid I want to do things like this with my photography i just have break that little fear boundary.

shamelessly thinking

DAY...WHO KNOWS

Everything is jumbled... after a rough day at work and a history test.. I plummeted to my floor and indulged in simple goodness.. I sat in my sweatpants and wrapped myself in a scarf.. and thought to myself as I waited for my noodles to cool, this week has been rough, I feel like my job is sucking my life away. I have the same everyday routine and I despise it... when I got the job they said it would be different and not repetitive.. the only thing that changes are the ppl I meet, I set up the same equipment.. shoot the same shot, its just a different face, there's no real art and it slightly bothers me.  I was ready to drive away and leave all the equipment at the school that day and send my boss a text saying I quit!  I'm starting to despise the younger and older generations a bit more everyday, pictures  really can bring out the worst and best in people. 

Don't judge my eating habits.. i eat strange things when I'm upset and pondering life

It's my own personal form of meditation.. sitting crisscross with food in hand in front of the full size mirror.. examining myself and the Vogue at my feet

Cause I Don't

i love this

zoe kravits is one of my favorite ppl to look to for fashion and cool trends. this picture made me truly happy so i found this one of me and my pops... excuse my wardrobe: working college student and no clothes at home

random drops of hope

to love or not to be loved

DAY 118
I don't wanna change you.. I've accepted who are .. I just wanna be loved by you  (screaming aloud) these are the days that I despise being woman.


the arrows have landed my dear

random epiphany

fashion is like sex.. it's either good or bad depending on who it's with. Like that outfit may not work for you but it looks great on her. Sex with him may not have been so great but that other guy knocked it out the park.  it's also similar to how my life has been lately and this rant may also be coming from my sexual frustrations as well. But things are either really good or continuously bad. thursday was the day of all days.. I spent almost three hours at the community college trying to get registered for classes only to be defeated in my effort. not to mention i had been up at the horrendous place everyday this week!! i was determined, i went to that stupid appeal on tuesday, turned in all my forms on monday just so i would be ahead of the game. Harrased my previous college about sending my transcript only to find out that my high school transcript had not been received. I dropped f bombs like no other that day. so thursday i'm back at it with my high school transcript in hand.. my hold is cleared I go to register and i can only take six hours. by this time i am flustered beyond words.. i try to talk to everyone but the one guy i need isn't in. I stormed out of that office with tears in my eyes, six hours is a waste of my time and money, I understand i didn't do well at my old university but i'm trying to better myself by going back and i just sat and thought ...this is my punishment. URGH!!!

Not to mention I looked awful i had just got off work and looked really bummy in my khakis and tank top i had stripped down to. Looking awful on a bad day is almost just as bad as not having an orgasm!

in need of days like these

p.s. i need a cool graphic tee.. any suggestions on where to look