missing pieces to the puzzle

these are words from blogs i wrote but never published or finished. i thought it would be cool to put them all together and see where words have taken me..

the most recent, i don't know the date

is it possible i have to much on my plate.


fell in love with a boy, fell in love once and almost completely. he's in love with the world and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading

my heart is on edge


i just had a moment and i have to vent... i'm upset for no reason.. doing silly things that girls do.. it'd be so much easier if i didn't care.. if i could just say fuck it and move on with my life. if the friendship didn't mean so much... i don't like being put on hold.. i don't like texts with no explanation.. i don't like hearing the words imma call u back,, because in guy language that just means wait by the phone sweetie and i won't. my heart just dropped and it isn't the first time.. all this from a fucking text message and if i say fuck it i'll be the villain.. but my heart might be healthy.








Everyone has a reason for their style or way of dress. You take influences from your surroundings, those who raised you, or even that one person that inspires that you might have seen on tv or in a magazine. It all comes from somewhere even those who may not seem as fashionable, have their... 


Now listening to
 teenage dream- katy perry
i'll be in the sky- b.o.b.
paris nights/new york mornings- corinne bailey rae
my love- jill scott

I've changed this piece over and over again... she use to be like my drug and somehow i broke the addiction and shoved her into a closet like she was one of my skeletons. The litlle one walks into my room, I glance up and slowly glance back down to my computer. Sometimes its like we have an unspoken language as she comes and sits on my bed and lays silently next to me. I look at her remembering times of innocence, times when my hair was just as long as hers and a piece of candy and a little attention is all i needed to make me happy. We grew up so different Lately life is just messy and unexplainable on all ends. there are days I feel complete and other days i feel empty. I'm struggling on the decision of if I should continue my education or sit this semester out and simply focus on me... something I've never really done before. My parents try to live through me and until now I've been trying my best to make them happy. I mean everyone tries to make mommy and daddy proud and i just happen to come from that family where i would be the first to graduate from college, well on my moms side anyway. The only thing I've truly done for myself is this blog and of course those trips to the mall which only makes my addicting shopping habits worse. Everytime i mention fashion or photography everyone always says well Jequise you could change your mind.. I mean so and so went in for something and came out doing another. And my mother... " I should be an example to you because i didn't get to go to school " News flash you are.. you're an example of I don't want to hate my job all my life!!! I hate my job now!! That felt good, i kept trying to think of all the positives of working at cracker barrell but there are none except that i have a job. And trust me i am thankful to have one but I am striving to look for something better each and every day.


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